Toni Gonzaga, aminadong nai-insecure sa ibang artista but never sa kapatid niyang si Alex

“...We grew up thinking that what you have is mine and what I have is yours. We always share kasi, before...People might think, ‘Ang plastic mo naman’ you’re not insecured?’ No. Dalawa lang kami, e. Never sinabi ng parents namin—especially my Dad—na, ‘Kaaway ang sister mo’ or ‘Kalaban mo ang sister mo.’”

Photos: @celestinegonzaga | @wil_dasovich

“...We grew up thinking that what you have is mine and what I have is yours. We always share kasi, before...People might think, ‘Ang plastic mo naman’ you’re not insecured?’ No. Dalawa lang kami, e. Never sinabi ng parents namin—especially my Dad—na, ‘Kaaway ang sister mo’ or ‘Kalaban mo ang sister mo.’”

Katulad ng ibang artista vlogger o YouTuber na rin ang actress/singer/host na si Toni Gonzaga.

But unlike ibang celebrities na nagsi-suguran sa YouTube noon lamang mag-lockdown dahil sa pandemya, Toni created her Channel—sa pangungulit na rin ng YouTube superstar niyang kapatid na si Alex Gonzaga—as early as January 2019.

Kaya ngayon, isa ang kanyang Celestine Gonzaga-Soriano You Tube Channel sa may milyon ng subcribers (3.56 million as of press time).

Unlike Alex na content creator talagang maituturing at benta sa mga pa-kwela, serious at pa-in depth naman ang atake ni Toni, na ginawang talk show ang kanyang contents.

But once in a while, pumapayag din si Toni na siya naman ang guest sa vlogs o channels ng kapwa niya celebrities. At isa sa pinaka-huli niyang tinanguan ay ang pag-ge-guest sa bagong Channel ni Wil Dasovich na Wil Dasovich-Superhuman.

Doon, diretsong tinanong ang actress kung saan daw ito mas malaking kumita—sa vlog nito na may sarili siyang show o sa telebisyon.

Mabilis naman ang sagot ni Toni na: “Oh, I profited a lot in television.  I’m very grateful for that. I was able to provide for my family. I was able to build a house for my family. I was able to travel the world because of that. So, I’m very, very grateful for that.”

At dahil nga sa financial stability na naibigay sa kanya ng kanyang 20-plus years sa showbiz—sa TV mainly— kaya daw nasa stage na siya ng buhay ngayon na nakakapa-desisyon na siya work-wise nang hindi ang kikitain ang main consideration dahil sa siya ay nakapag-ipon.

“In-terms of profit, I think, I’ve reached a certain age or I’m at the stage of my life right now where thank God, I don’t decide anymore for profit. I don’t do think based on profit.

“So, I’m not deciding anymore if I’ll do something it’s not because money-driven or this is what they’ll gonna pay you.

“It’s not about that anymore. It’s about what I want to do and what I feed my soul. Because I’m done feeding my ego. I’ve fed my ego for 20+ years in the industry and I realized, that was my biggest enemy, my ego.

Inilahad din ni Toni kung paano, dumating na rin daw siya sa punto na na-miss niya ang ma-excite sa ginagawa niya.

Kuwento niya pa kay Wil: “Last night, before sleeping, I was very excited to go to the studio today...Because I know, I’m gonna be able to talk to you, talk to another person again later.

“So, I’ve missed that feeling of being excited to go to work. Because I’ve realized, I’ve been doing my job on TV and I love it but I was on auto-pilot. 

“It became a routine. 

“I’ll wake-up, I’ll go to the show, I’ll do it all-over again. Parang naging routine na siya. Nawala na ’yung dating excitement na, ‘Ah, I’m doing this tomorrow.’  Parang ’yun ang hinahanap ko ngayon sa ginagawa ko.

“More than the profit, it’s the drive. May bagong surge of energy.”

Deretsahan ding sinabi ni Toni na pinaka-pangit daw na dahilan ang pera para gawin ang isang bagay o trabaho.

“It’s the worst foundation of doing something,” saad niya. “It’s not gonna last. Money is not the driving force of doing something.

“I don’t do You Tube for money because I’m still making money do’n sa mainstream job ko. Everything is a bonus. Everything na lang will be a bonus na I’m making this na pala.”

Binalikan din ni Toni ang tunay na dahilan kung bakit napadpad sa YouTube ang kapatid niyang si Alex at noong maging successful, ay kung paano siyang todo kinulit nito na subukin na ring mag-YouTube.

Ani Toni, na-depress daw si Alex noon dahil nawalan ito ng show sa network nilang ABS-CBN.

Nang may mag-suggest na mag-You Tube daw ito, wala pa raw tiwala si Alex sa sarili kaya’t hindi agad ito kumilos. Feeling daw kasi ni Alex that time ay wala namang manonood sa kanya kung hindi kasama ang kanyang Ate Toni.

Pero dahil ayaw pa ni Toni na mag-vlog noon, pumayag nalang siyang maging first guest ni Alex sa vlog nito.

Kalaunan ay kinulit na nga siya nang kinulit na mag-put up na rin ng sarili n’yang Channel.

‘“Sabi niya, ‘Mag-open ka na ng YouTube channel mo, masaya. It’s like a playground that you can show yourself, you can do your own content. Show them whatever... the things you want to show them.’

“Sabi ko, ‘What will I show them?’ ‘Your life, who you are... because people know you as Toni Gonzaga lang sa TV and that’s your mainstream identity but there’s so much more to know about you,’ sabi ng sister ko. 

“Hindi pa ko nako-convince. Until I think, 2018 or 2019, sabi ko, ‘Sige na, I will give-in. I will open my YouTube channel with the intention of I’m not just going to show my life, I wanted all the episodes in the YouTube channel to have a message.

“Which is why, my first entry was ‘A Quiet Place to Wait’ because it was a vacation vlog or trip in Amanpulo and at the end of the vlog, I shared the story of why it’s a quiet place to wait. Because I waited for a long time na makapunta sa Amanpulo. And when it finally happened, parang there was a reward for waiting.

“Parang ’yun lang ang intention ko. If I will post something, it has to have a message in the end. It’s not just a vlog or an episode where I can showcase what I have or who I am for no reason. Parang there will always be an intention.”

Inamin din ni Toni na nabuo ang kanyang Toni Talks, a talk show within the channel, dahil pakiramdam daw niya ay gumuho na rin ang mga pangarap niya nang mag-shutdown o ipasara ang ABS-CBN noong isang taon dahil matagal na umano siyang naghihintay na mabigyan ng sariling talk show.

“When my network shut down and I was waiting for that day when I can finally hear the management or my bosses say that, ‘O, now, you’re ready to have your own show or talk show.’ Parang all the hopes and dreams died down when our network shut down. 

“Parang my dreams died.

“And then Paul said, ‘No, for as long as you’re living, you can still dream, you can still create opportunities. Don’t wait for other people. Don’t ask for other people’s permission to achieve your dreams. 

“You’re waiting for permissions, e, you’re waiting for their go-signal. You do it,’” pagre-replay ni Toni ng admonish ni Direk Paul. (Paul is of course, her husband, film director Paul Soriano.)

Sa huli, tinanong din ni Wil si Toni kung noong nakikita na raw niya na nagki-click si Alex bilang YouTuber—na ngayon ay meron ng 10.9 million subscribers—ay kung nakaramdam daw ba siya ng inggit o insecurities sa kapatid kahit papaano?

“Oh, I love it, I love it,” ang positibong sagot naman ni Toni.

“I love it that she used me as a stepping stone. Because I can only do that for my sister. You can use me as your stepping stone, sige, when you jumpstart your career, it’s okay.

“I’m only okay with that because she’s my sister.”

At saka niya inamin na, “I get insecure with other artista, my colleagues... but I never get insecure with my sister. Because we grew up thinking that what you have is mine and what I have is yours. We always share kasi, before. We always share.

“I don’t know, people might think, ‘Ang plastic mo naman’ you’re not insecured?’ No. Dalawa lang kami, e. Never sinabi ng parents namin—especially my Dad—na, ‘Kaaway ang sister mo’ or ‘Kalaban mo ang sister mo.’ 

Because my parents always tell us na, ‘If there’s one person na hindi mo dapat makaka-away sa mundo, that is your sibling. Okey lang na kaaway mo silang lahat, wag lang ang kapatid mo.’ ‘Yun lang. Palagi nilang sinasabi sa amin ’yun ng parents ko.”

 

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